The Matrix- Slayers Style!
by XelFan12
Summary: This is what would happen if the Slayers replaced the Matrix characters. Please review!
1. The Real World

The Matrix- Slayers Style! (Part 1)  
  
1 by XelFan12  
  
  
  
  
  
Random symbols start shifting and transforming, and they flash to reveal the words, "The Matrix". Goofy music begins to play as "Slayers Style!" flashes in interesting colors below it. A green cursor starts flashing in the upper-left of the screen. "Call transcript received" is suddenly typed, and numbers begin to be received.  
  
A phone rings, and someone picks it up. "Yeah?"  
  
"Is everything in place?"  
  
"You mean did I trace his phone number?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Well, I just found out that he doesn't have a phone."  
  
"Oh. Well, that sucks. Give him yours then."  
  
"I like my phone! I want him to give it back later!"  
  
"Look, I'll buy you a new phone if we have time. Now hurry up, run over to his house, and put the phone on his desk while he's still asleep."  
  
"Oh fine."  
  
"Do you hear that?"  
  
"Hear what?"  
  
"Are you sure this line's clear?"  
  
"Of course I'm sure. Wait…"  
  
The scene gradually shifts in a cool transition to the beam of a flashlight.  
  
Two police officers break open a door, and discover a girl in the room. They order her to surrender. The redhead slowly lifted her hands above her head.  
  
***  
  
Another police officer stands at the bottom of the building outside of his car, and two Rezo copies drive up in a car and get out. "Lieutenant," one of the Rezo copies said softly. "You had specific orders to stay away from here."  
  
"Those orders were phony! We as police officers need to be at the scene of every crime in this city! And how did you guys drive here if you're both blind?"  
  
"Hmmm…" muttered the other Rezo copy. "Don't really know. But anyway, those orders were for your protection."  
  
"I think we can handle one little girl. I sent two units up. They should be coming down with her soon."  
  
"No, lieutenant, your men are already dead," declared the first Rezo copy, jingling his staff.  
  
***  
  
The redheaded girl suddenly turns around and surprises the police. "Fireball!" she yelled, and the fireball that she'd been preparing surged toward the police. The camera does a 360 around the fireball, and the police are knocked unconscious by the blast. The girl suddenly receives a call on her cell phone.  
  
"The line was traced, Xellos," said the redhead.  
  
"Well then, I suppose you'll have to find an exit, Lina," replied Xellos casually.  
  
"Where, Xellos? Where's the exit?"  
  
"That is a secret!"  
  
Lina fell over anime style, and picked up the phone again. "Xellos, if you don't tell me where to find an exit, you'll witness a Dragonslave when I get back!"  
  
"Very well then, if you're that upset. It's the phone booth at Phibrizzo Lane."  
  
Lina closes the cell phone, and starts to run across the rooftops as the police reinforcements and a Rezo copy appear behind her, and begin the chase. They run across the rooftops, and Lina levitates to clear a huge gap between two buildings. Only the Rezo copy is able to follow with his own levitation, and the police are left behind muttering that the jump was impossible.  
  
Lina speeds up again, and jumps off the building, soars through the air, and crashes through a window in another building. She falls down a flight of stairs (that must hurt), and holds her hands ready to cast another spell. The Rezo copy didn't seem to be coming, so she runs out of the building.  
  
She discovers that she had ended up at Phibrizzo Lane, and begins to run for the phone booth there. She also notices that a truck is about to crash into the phone booth.  
  
"You idiot! How am I supposed to leave if you crash into the exit?!" Lina yells. "Fireball!" Another fireball blows up the truck, and Lina could distinctly see an injured guy flying off across the horizon from the impact. She picks up the phone, and disappears.  
  
The Rezo copy finally saw where Lina had went, but discovers that she's gone. The other Rezo copy comes to the phone booth as well. "We already know the name of their next target," a Rezo copy points out.  
  
"His name is Gourry. The search for him has already begun."  
  
***  
  
The scene shifts to Gourry, who is asleep with headphones over his ears. "Old MacDonald" is heard coming from the headphones.  
  
Gourry wakes up, and looks at his computer screen, which is still on. "Wake up, Gourry…" is seen on the computer screen.  
  
"I already woke up," mutters Gourry.  
  
"Okay then," reads the computer screen. "Then we'll move on. The Matrix has you!"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Follow the white rabbit."  
  
"What white rabbit?"  
  
"Knock, knock, Gourry."  
  
"Who's there?" replies Gourry, thinking it's one of those great knock- knock jokes.  
  
Two knocks are heard at his door.  
  
"Hey, that wasn't very funny!" complains Gourry. Grumbling, he goes to answer the door. He sees that it's the people that said they would come 2 hours ago. "You're pretty late, and was it you that sent me such a dumb knock-knock joke?"  
  
"I don't know about any joke, but as for the late part, it's her fault," says one of the guys, pointing at a girl.  
  
"No, it isn't! It's all your fault! I said, 'We're gonna be late! You can ride the merry-go-round again later,' but no! You wanted to-"  
  
"Anyway, do you have it? The ticket?"  
  
"I think so," answers Gourry. He pulls out a secret compartment in his desk, and hands it over.  
  
"All right!" exclaims the guy. "Now I ride the merry-go-round all day for free! Here's the coupons. Free food at 12 all-you-can-eat restaurants for a month."  
  
"Thanks!" says a really happy Gourry. "But if anyone finds out…"  
  
"I know. You don't exist." The guy turns to the girl. "Think we should take him with us?"  
  
"Definitely," she answers.  
  
"I can't. I have work later," Gourry explained. "Wait, today's Saturday."  
  
Gourry follows the people to the party that they lead him to. The girl was wearing white rabbit earrings, the guy was wearing a white rabbit shirt, and the other guys all had something with white rabbits on them. But Gourry didn't notice. He just wanted to go to the party.  
  
***  
  
Gourry looks around, bored. The party was pretty boring. There didn't seem to be much food anywhere.  
  
Suddenly, a redheaded girl heads where Gourry is. "Do you know who I am?" she whispers into his ear as they begin a slow dance.  
  
"Hey! You're the girl that broke into that place at that time! Hold on, I know who you are," says Gourry, snapping his fingers absentmindedly. "You're… Luna?"  
  
"WHAT?! MY SISTER'S HERE??? WHERE?! WHERE?! I THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD! DIDN'T THOSE REZO COPIES FINALLY GET HER? I MEAN, THE REST OF US ESCAPED, BUT I THOUGHT THEY GOT HER!! WHERE IS SHE?!" screamed Lina, panicking. By now, everyone at the party had stopped dancing to look at them.  
  
"I thought that was your name," said a confused Gourry.  
  
"No… my name is Lina… yeah," answers Lina, calming down. She turned to the people staring at her. "You'd better quit looking at me, or I'll use a spell you won't forget!" yelled Lina. Everyone immediately returned to slow dancing.  
  
"What were we talking about?" asked Gourry.  
  
"My name. But now we'll talk about something else."  
  
"Wait, hold on. This morning, I got this stupid knock-knock joke on the computer, and something about a white rabbit and a matrix. Do you know anything about that?"  
  
"I don't know anything about a stupid knock-knock joke, but do you mean to tell me that you had no idea what your computer was saying about a white rabbit and the Matrix?"  
  
"Hmmm… I guess so. I really didn't know what that was all about."  
  
"Well then how did you know to come here?"  
  
"Well, I just felt like coming to this party 'cause I was hoping there'd be lots of food here, but look, all they have is oatmeal cookies and mountain spring water."  
  
Lina sweatdropped. On the one hand, she thought to herself, this guy seems like a complete idiot. But then again, when I told him to meet me here, I was kinda hoping for food too. Oh well.  
  
Lina was suddenly serious. "They're watching you, Gourry."  
  
"Who?" whispered Gourry, getting caught up in the mood.  
  
"That I can't tell. I know what you've been doing, Gourry. Why you hardly sleep. Why night after night, you sit at your computer, looking for him. I know because once I was looking for the same thing. When I found him, he said that I wasn't really looking for him, I was looking for an answer. It's the question that drives us mad. You know the question."  
  
"Who sent me that stupid knock-knock joke?"  
  
"Yes. The answer is… Hold on a second. That's not the question! The question is: What is the Matrix?"  
  
"Oh. What is the Matrix?"  
  
"Yes. The answer is out there, Gourry, and it will… Oh, never mind. You just ruined the whole effect."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
***  
  
Gourry woke up the next morning. Yesterday had been a pretty weird day. He normally would have been late for work by now, but today was Sunday. He went out to use his free food coupons.  
  
***  
  
Gourry woke up the next morning. Yesterday had been a pretty good day. He normally would have been late for work by now, but today was… Monday! He drove to work as fast as possible.  
  
***  
  
We find poor Gourry being yelled at by his boss in his office. "You believe that you are special. That rules don't apply to you."  
  
"No I don't," protested Gourry. "Haven't you ever had a bad day? I mean, imagine if you were me. That you were late for work. You didn't mean to! It was all a mistake! Why?! Why?! Why?!"  
  
"I'm so sorry!" sobs the boss. "You may go to your work station! How could I have been so heartless and cruel?"  
  
Gourry heads for his place in the building, smiling. He'd only worked for 5 minutes before someone came by, delivered a package to him, and left.  
  
Gourry eagerly opened the package, and found a cell phone. "All right, my own cell phone!" he said. The phone rang. Gourry pressed the talk button without a second thought. "Hello?"  
  
"Hello, Gourry. Do you know who this is?" a casual voice asked.  
  
"I think so. According to that Lina girl that I met at the party on Saturday, I've been searching for you all my life. And I don't remember how I got your name to search for you in the first place. Will you freak out if I guess the wrong name like she did?"  
  
"I doubt it," answered the voice, sounding amused.  
  
"Hmmm… Zelas?"  
  
"ZELAS?! LORD BEASTMASTER?! WHERE?! WHERE?! I THOUGHT THOSE REZO COPIES FINALLY GOT HER! I MEAN, SHE CAN BEAT ONE OR TWO OF THEM EASILY, BUT THERE WERE A COUPLE DOZEN GAINING UP ON HER! WHERE IS SHE?!" asked the voice loudly and eagerly, completely forgetting about his cool.  
  
"Hey! You said you wouldn't freak out. I thought that was your name," replied Gourry, holding the phone about 6 inches away from his head so he wasn't deafened. Luckily, coming through a cell phone, nobody in the other offices heard it.  
  
"No… Xellos… that's my name," muttered Xellos, calming down. "I do believe they're there by now. They're going to head for you soon."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"That is a secret!" replies Xellos, and he hangs up the cell phone.  
  
"Hmmm… okay then," said Gourry to himself. "Might as well stay here then."  
  
***  
  
Gourry was taken by the Rezo copies to an empty office as soon as they found him. There were currently 3 of them in the room. Two were standing guard, and another was sitting in the chair across from him. The Rezo copy in the chair put a binder on the desk. He opened it, and looked at Gourry.  
  
"We've had our eye on you for a while now, Gourry," says the Rezo copy, standing up and jingling his staff.  
  
"Why do you jingle your staff?" asked Gourry.  
  
"It's fun, and besides that, it goes well with my theme song. Well, the original Rezo's theme song anyway. But that's not the point! It seems that you're living 4 lives, Gourry. In one, you are Mr. Steven J. Smith. A worker that is always late, and saves his career by driving his sentimental boss to tears from Monday to Friday every week. You forget to pay your taxes, you owe approximately 14 banks money, and you listen to Old MacDonald in your spare time. In the second, you are Gourry, a codename for disaster, we believe. You sell people free merry-go-round rides for food coupons. In the third, you are a slob. You have no table manners, you fight people for food, and you aren't even listening to what I'm saying. In the fourth, you're just some stupid guy. None of these lives has a future, but we don't really care. Also, I've heard that you've recently been in contact with someone named Xellos. He is considered by many to be the most dangerous mozaku alive, and hopefully you wish to do the right thing by breaking contact with him. We're willing to wipe the slate clean, forgive all four of your lives, and your chat with Xellos, if you just cooperate and return to obeying laws."  
  
Gourry paused, trying to figure out what the Rezo copy said. "Wait, so if I just go along with whatever you're saying, you won't get me in trouble for being late every day, you'll pay all my taxes, you'll pay the banks, you won't tell anyone about free merry-go-round rides or food coupons, and you'll apologize for calling me a slob and a stupid guy? And what's wrong with Old MacDonald? And who's Xellos again?"  
  
Now the Rezo copy paused, ignoring the comments about slobs, stupid guys, Xellos, and Old MacDonald. That's right, he thought. If he does agree to the deal, I'll have to pay all his taxes and expenses. It's not worth it. Besides, it's not like he's giving me anything in return. "It is a good deal, but I have a better one. How about, I give you my autograph-" He took a piece of paper out of the binder, and scribbled his name on it. "-and you give me my phone call."  
  
"Well, okay. I always wanted to start an autograph collection." Gourry replied. "Here's my phone." He handed it over.  
  
The Rezo copy handed over the autograph, and put Gourry's cell phone in his pocket.  
  
"You said you were only going to make a phone call! I want my cell phone back! Either that, or their autographs!" protested Gourry, gesturing at the other two Rezo copies."  
  
The copy jingled his staff again. "I always wanted a cell phone, and as for the autographs, what good are they to you… if you can't see?"  
  
Gourry felt his eyelids close up, and he couldn't open them again. The Rezo copies had been blind all their life, so they were used to it, while Gourry stumbled around, bumping into things. The two Rezo copies that were standing guard held him still, and the third dropped a bug into his hair…  
  
***  
  
Gourry woke up in his bed suddenly, and seems unharmed. He could see again, so he wasn't bothered much by what just happened, but he was still angry. "I can't believe that guy took my cell phone, and besides that, he took back his autograph too!"  
  
The phone on his desk began to ring. "Hey! I got another phone!" exclaimed Gourry, and he happily picked up the phone. The phone had been there since Saturday, but he just hadn't noticed it.  
  
Xellos was the one that called him. "I sense that the line is tapped. Those Rezo copies got to you first, but they really don't realize how important you are! You would probably have been killed by now if they'd realized…"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Yare, yare. That you're the One, of course! They may have spent the last few years looking for you, but I've spent my entire life trying to find you. Well, since you were born, anyway. Do you want to meet me?"  
  
"No! You're the guy that hung up on me, and let me be captured by these people that all look alike. And they stole my cell phone!"  
  
"Good! Then go to the Valgaav's Street Bridge."  
  
***  
  
Gourry stood below the Valgaav's Street Bridge in the rain. "So I was curious," he muttered.  
  
A car pulls up, and someone tells him to get in. Guns are pointed to his head as the car begins to move.  
  
Gourry stared. "What's this for? Are you the people that I owe money to?! I'm sorry! I'll pay you back later!"  
  
Lina, who happened to be sitting next to him, blinked. "Um… no, you don't owe us money."  
  
Gourry relaxed. "Okay then. What do you want me to do?"  
  
"Take your shirt off."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Stop the car."  
  
The driver immediately screeched the car to a stop, but also managed to run the car into a stop sign, producing a huge dent in the front before she did so.  
  
"Not again, Martina!" Lina glared at the driver.  
  
"Oh, shut up, Lina! I'm trying my best!" replied a hurt Martina.  
  
"Good thing we have car insurance," muttered Lina. "But soon that insurance company will go bankrupt if we don't get a new driver."  
  
"What did you say?!" asked Martina, turning to face Lina.  
  
"Nothing, nothing," replied Lina. She turns to face Gourry. "It's our way or the highway."  
  
"Fine, I'll do it. But why do you want me to?"  
  
"We have to get the bug out."  
  
"Hmmm… While those people that looked alike made me blind, I felt they dropped something in my hair." Gourry said thoughtfully. He reached into his hair, felt around, and pulled out the bug. "Is this it?"  
  
Lina paused, surprised. After a moment, she regained her composure and threw the bug out the window. The bug lost its energy on the street.  
  
"Why was the bug in your hair?!" demanded Lina.  
  
"Why, was it supposed to be somewhere else?" asked Gourry, puzzled.  
  
"Never mind. Hey Martina, go call someone to fix this car. While you do that, I'll levitate and fly Gourry to Xellos. We'll never get there at this rate."  
  
"OH, why do I always have to do everything?" whined Martina, but Lina and Gourry were already gone.  
  
***  
  
Lina enters the building with Gourry a little while later, and saved the trouble of climbing a bunch of stairs by levitating both of them up again. "Gosh you're heavy, Gourry! Do you have to wear armor all the time?"  
  
Gourry didn't reply. He was too busy hanging on to Lina's foot so he didn't fall to his death.  
  
They found the right floor, and the right room. "One piece of advice," said Lina. "Be honest. He knows more that you can imagine. Not that that's… saying very much."  
  
The door opened, and Gourry stepped inside. He saw two armchairs and a table with a glass of water on it. In one armchair sat a being that could only be Xellos.  
  
"Glad you could come!" said Xellos cheerfully, as Gourry walked over and sat in the other chair. "I imagine you feel like Alice now, tumbling down the rabbit hole."  
  
Gourry hesitated. "Who's Alice?"  
  
"That is a secret! You have the look of a man that doesn't understand what's going on. Tell me. Do you believe in fate?" inquired Xellos, leaning slightly forward.  
  
"Yup."  
  
"And why is that?"  
  
"I guess I don't like the idea that all the money that I owe is my fault."  
  
"Very well then," responded Xellos, leaning back again. "You feel that there's something wrong, or missing from the world, don't you? And that's what brought you here. Do you know what I'm talking about?"  
  
"The Matrix! No, wait, Lina? Hold on… hold on… the War of the Gods and Monsters? No, I've got it! 73!"  
  
Xellos sweatdropped. "Actually, your first answer was right. Now do you want to know exactly what the Matrix is?"  
  
Gourry nods.  
  
"That is a secret!" Xellos and Gourry say in unison.  
  
"Jinx!" Gourry yelled triumphantly.  
  
Xellos sweatdropped again. So perhaps I've said that phrase so often, that even Gourry knows when to use it. Maybe I should use it less often. "The Matrix is-"  
  
"You can't say anything again until I say your name, Xellos!" Gourry grinned, then frowned. "Darn."  
  
Now Xellos grinned, and continued his lecture. "The Matrix is everywhere. It's in that corner over there, in your hair, on the computer, and out any window. It's a feeling as well, and you experience it wherever you go. But it's all fake!"  
  
"What's fake?"  
  
"The Matrix."  
  
"What about the Matrix?"  
  
"The Matrix is fake."  
  
"But then how is it all around us?"  
  
"Moving on," said Xellos loudly, ignoring Gourry. "No one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself." Xellos held out a lima bean. "You eat this lima bean, and I'll show you how the Matrix is fake, AND all around us."  
  
"I don't get a choice? What a rip-off!"  
  
"You eat this lima bean, and you'll discover that a delicious 9- course meal is crammed inside it."  
  
"All right!" Gourry ate the lima bean. "Am I supposed to do anything with glass of water?" he asked, gesturing to the glass of water on the table.  
  
"No, that's my water," said Xellos.  
  
"There's no 9-course meal in here!" complained Gourry, swallowing the lima bean.  
  
"So I lied," grinned Xellos.  
  
"What was the point of eating this lima bean?"  
  
"Well, it's been in the back of my refrigerator for years. I had to get rid of it somehow. Now come on. Follow me." Xellos led him to another room. Some other people were there too working on stuff.  
  
"Martina, are we online?" Xellos asked.  
  
It was at that point that Martina rushed into the room. "Sorry, I had some car trouble. I'll get started now."  
  
Xellos and Gourry stood there, and the other people in the room worked with whatever gadgets they were handling while Martina tried to get online. "Oh come on! My password's expired?" said Martina, exasperated.  
  
"Do hurry up, Martina," Xellos muttered.  
  
***  
  
20 minutes later, Martina finally got online, and Xellos told Gourry to sit in the chair in the middle of the room. Some gadgets were put into Gourry's ear and on top of his neck. Gourry noticed a mirror next to him, and reached out to touch it. The mirror substance began to cover his body.  
  
"Have a you ever experienced a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you never woke up? Then how could you tell difference between real and unreal?" asked Xellos, who in a philosophical mood.  
  
"No, I never had a dream like that." Gourry managed to say, before the mirror substance went over his mouth.  
  
"Amelia, take him in now!" Xellos ordered.  
  
One of the other people activated a switch as Gourry was completely engulfed by the material.  
  
***  
  
Gourry wakes up and feels… incomplete. He feels that he is split in half, somehow, and seeing things in two different places, but nothing is very clear. He could make out machines somehow fusing life forms together.  
  
He could feel that he was coming together now, his two selves. Mechanical arms melded him together. He had become a chimera.  
  
Another machine came to retrieve him. He was brought through many tunnels and passages before he passed out.  
  
***  
  
"Welcome to the real world," a voice whispered.  
  
"We've done it," said another voice.  
  
"We've found him," declared a third.  
  
A healing spell was cast on Gourry. Soon after, someone levitated, and carried him over to his bed.  
  
***  
  
Gourry woke up some time later. He felt stronger than usual, for some reason, and felt something strange on his arm, as well. "Well, that was weird," commented Gourry. He felt comething mechanical on his arm. "This thing probably got here when I was in that place seeing two different things."  
  
The door to his room opened, and Xellos stepped in. "Did you have any fun being fused?"  
  
"Not really. What happened?"  
  
"More than what, it's when."  
  
"When?"  
  
"That is a secret!" Xellos declared. There, I only said it half of the time. "Well, now, follow me then!" And Xellos led Gourry through some more rooms, ending up at a ladder. Xellos decided he wouldn't bother to use it, so he put one hand on Gourry, and teleported them both up. Gourry, of course, was still confused.


	2. Training Begins

The Matrix- Slayers Style! (Part 2)  
  
by XelFan12  
  
  
  
  
  
"This is my very own hovercraft," explains Xellos, leading Gourry along. "It's called the 'Xellos'! You're now standing on the main deck."  
  
Gourry nods, and continues to follow Xellos.  
  
"And here's the core," Xellos goes on. "We broadcast signals here, and use it to hack into the Matrix. Which is where you were. As I said, that world is fake."  
  
"So you mean I don't really owe all those taxes?! WAHOO!!" exclaimed Gourry.  
  
Xellos had no comment for that, so instead he moved on to introductions. "You already know some of my crew," he said, gesturing to the people all lined up. "You obviously already know Lina. There's Martina, your previous driver. Next to her is Sylphiel. Valgaav's over there. Over there by those computers are Amelia, and her big brother Zelgadis. The little one behind you is Chibi-Xellos."  
  
Gourry looked behind him to see a smaller version of Xellos. Chibi- Xellos smiled in the same exact amused smirk that Xellos had. Gourry sweatdropped. I won't even ask, he thought.  
  
"Lina, would you care to show Gourry what the Matrix is?" Xellos asked.  
  
Lina showed him to a chair, and told him to sit down while Xellos walked over. "This will feel… pretty bad." Xellos took a needle of some sort, and put it in the mechanial thing that had appeared on Gourry's arm when he had turned into a chimera.  
  
Gourry opened his mouth to yell, but the next thing he knew, he was in a seemingly blank white area that stretched out forever in all directions.  
  
"This would be the construct or loading program!" said Xellos cheerfully, suddenly appearing.  
  
Gourry looked around some more. "Looks like nothing at all to me."  
  
"Perhaps, but as I said, this is the loading program! See? This is your mental projection of your digital self. Your clothes are hair have both changed! We'll need a full length mirror!" Xellos ordered.  
  
A full length mirror suddenly appeared, and Gourry looked in it. "Hey! How come I'm wearing a pink and purple shirt with robin's egg blue pants? Why am I wearing sneakers with Velcro straps?! Why is my hair in about 50 tiny pigtails?!?!"  
  
"Well, I suppose that's your mental projection. Although, I prefer mine." Xellos stepped up to the mirror and looked over himself with his perfectly ironed suit, which was a nice shade of black. The coattails hanging off the back of the suit and his expensive leather shoes made him look like a real gentleman. His hair had remained the same style as always.  
  
Gourry still looked annoyed, but then he got curious. "How'd you make that mirror come here?"  
  
"As I said twice before, this is the loading program! We can load up anything we need almost instantly! We'll have two armchairs and a T.V.!"  
  
Two armchairs and a T.V. came out of nowhere and stopped near them. Gourry and Xellos went over and sat down. "We can get anything?" Gourry asked, surprised. "That's great! I'll have a 9-course meal, complete with fortune cookies and a bag of chips! Oh, and a table to put the stuff on!"  
  
The stuff Gourry wanted settled in front of him, and he began to eat.  
  
Xellos cleared his throat. "Delete previous load!"  
  
The stuff Gourry was eating, along with the table, disappeared. "That's not fair! I was hungry!" complained Gourry.  
  
Xellos loaded up a remote control for the T.V., and turned it on. On the screen, majestic buildings stood tall in the bright light. "This is the world you know, also known as The Matrix."  
  
"You said the Matrix was everywhere! Isn't it over here too?" Gourry protested.  
  
"No, it's only everywhere in the world you came from."  
  
"So I'm not in the world I came from anymore?"  
  
"No, you weren't in the world you came from since you got covered by the mirror substance, and was reborn as a chimera."  
  
"What's a chimera?"  
  
"That is a secret!" Xellos changed the channel. Slayers NEXT theme music is heard, and Xellos is also seen on the screen as the song ends. "I do look good in that opening!" Xellos changes the channel again, and dark, scary buildings are seen. "And this is the world of today."  
  
The camera pans forward through the screen of the T.V., and then down until we see Xellos and Gourry watching the television again on a rocky terrain. "How did we get here?" Gourry asked.  
  
"Welcome to the desert of the real!" announced Xellos dramatically, ignoring Gourry. "You're probably wondering how the Earth got like this."  
  
"Well, no, not-"  
  
"We only have bits and pieces of how it happened, but-"  
  
"But I said that I'm not really wonder-"  
  
Gourry gave up as Xellos began speaking again. "We know that it happened when the entire world was celebrating over the coming of C.I. (Chimera Industrialization). In the past, chimeras could only be formed over older and slower methods, but this new and improved method could create them far faster and more efficiently. At first, people monitored the progress of the machinery making the chimeras, but they soon discovered that they couldn't keep up with the speed that it was being built at, and the machines seemed to be functioning just fine by themselves anyway. People became careless, and eventually stopped watching over the machines altogether. Chimeras were supposed to be a way of healing someone about to die, and fusing them with another body to continue living. The machines, however, decided that they needed more energy to stay at their speed and power. They began to 'accidentally' injure the humans, and bring them in to their industry to make more and more chimeras. If a chimera ever died, its energy split in half to power other chimeras again. The humans didn't realize what was happening at first, and when they finally did, it was too late. The machines had managed to make an ultimate chimera by the name of Rezo. They copied him many times to have more powerful forces if the need ever arose, and then disposed of the original. The human population decreased farther as the machines decided to stop their "accidental" plan, and just assault the humans. The humans that escaped fled and built their own city close to the Earth's core that they called Ceipheed. The machines even simulated the Matrix so the chimeras they make would never know what had happened, and would live in a sense that they were in a "real" world, while the world of today became dark with the machines and their creation, the Rezo copies. Soon, the machines fused themselves with the Rezo copies, making themselves more powerful than ever before. No one was powerful enough to stop that force. Do you understand now?" Xellos was pretty tired now after all that talking. He was usually a very secretive person anyway.  
  
Gourry had fallen asleep quite a while ago. His snoring sounded loudly, and somehow echoed although the contruct stretched out forever.  
  
Xellos was pretty annoyed. He went over to shake Gourry.  
  
Gourry woke up to Xellos with an annoyed expression. "Wha-?"  
  
"Never mind then." Xellos said, changing the channel. "Basically, the humans of today are no longer born, they are fused. Endless rows of mechnical arms and containment units, melding together organisms and creating chimeras!"  
  
Gourry's eyes opened wide open, and he began to say the word "no" in a very dramatic way: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…"  
  
"Bring us out of the construct," Xellos instructed Amelia.  
  
Coming out of the construct, the whole crew of the good ship "Xellos" noticed Gourry's distress. "…OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…"  
  
"Breathe, Gourry. Just breathe," someone ordered.  
  
"…OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- " Having finally run out of air, Gourry threw up and collapsed to the ground.  
  
"Amelia, would you carry Gourry back to his room?" Xellos asked.  
  
"Anything to help in the name of justice!" Amelia declared, and did as ordered. "Gosh, you're heavy, Mister Gourry. Do you have to wear armor all the time?"  
  
***  
  
Gourry woke up again later on his pillow. "…OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"  
  
"Gourry, you might want to stop before you pass out again," Xellos advised.  
  
Gourry decided to stop. "Oh, fine. Wait, you mean that I'm a… chimera?"  
  
"Yes, I do believe so."  
  
"Do I have any special powers if I'm a chimera?"  
  
"Well, according to the tests we ran on you while you were asleep, you should now have some sorceror blood in you. You'll be able to learn magic easily now."  
  
"Is everyone on this ship a… whatever-it-was?"  
  
"Yes, everyone except Amelia and Zelgadis. They're only humans. I suppose that's why Amelia had such a back strain after she "helped in the name of justice" by carrying you to your room. Come to think of it, I could have just teleported you here. Yare, yare. No need to think of such matters now! Valgaav is part dragon, part mozaku, and part human. Sylphiel has some sorceress blood, but she's mostly human. Martina is mostly idiotic, but I think there's a bit of human in her. And I do believe Lina is part human, part sorceress, and part greedy pig. Of course, there are some unusual instances. Take me, for example. Somehow, during the cloning process, I ended up 100% mozaku, and the machines wanted to make a copy of me at first for some reason, so they started scanning me. Then, they decided better of it, so a complete clone was never made. The result, as you might have guessed, was Chibi-Xellos." Xellos explained.  
  
"Hmmm… huh?"  
  
Xellos sweatdropped. He wasn't getting very far using longer explanations with Gourry. "You'd better rest some more. You'll need it."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Training."  
  
***  
  
"Morning! Did you sleep?" Amelia comes in all cheerful.  
  
"Huh? I think so." Gourry muttered sleepily. "That's weird. You've got no hole or whatever in your arm."  
  
"Oh! That's because Zelgadis and I were born right here in the real world in the city of Ceipheed. We're 100% pure human!"  
  
Gourry was confused again. "Ceipheed? Human? I think I heard something about that in a dream somewhere."  
  
"Ceipheed's way underground. It's really the only place we've got left. You know, I really hope that you're the One. This is such an exciting time. If you are, you can finally defeat those Rezo copy machines in the name of JUSTICE!" cried Amelia, standing up in a theatrical pose with brilliant colors flashing about her.  
  
"Well, okay."  
  
Amelia started to walk out the door. "Follow me now." She led Gourry through some rooms, ending up at a chair hooked to a computer, and many gadgets. Gourry was beginning to feel like he was at the doctor's office or something. "Now sit down in this chair."  
  
Gourry sat, and something was hooked up to him. He looked at the computer screen. "Flare arrow," he read. "Flare arrow? I'm going to learn 'flare arrow'? What's that?" He soon felt silent as Amelia pressed a button, and Gourry's eyes opened wide as he learned it. He gasped as the downloading finished. "That was weird."  
  
"Yup. Want to learn more?" Amelia asked.  
  
"Definitely."  
  
***  
  
Gourry had learned many things now, including different types of fighting and spells, and was currenly learning how to add.  
  
Xellos walks into the room. "So, how's he doing?"  
  
"He's been learning 15 hours straight. He's a machine! But I'm getting tired of pressing all these buttons, and for some reason, the program for teaching him how to add if not functioning. Wait, I think I finally finished."  
  
Gourry sat up abruptly. "I know stuff."  
  
"Show me," challenged an amused Xellos with a familiar smirk.  
  
Xellos and Gourry end up in a video game. "This program is similar to the reality of the Matrix!" says Xellos cheerfully. "Some rules can be bent, and others… can be broken. Watch. I know a cheat code for this game." Xellos patted his head 3 times, kicked the ground 2 times, and punched Gourry in the gut really hard 1 time.  
  
"OW!" yelled Gourry, as Xellos got infinite lives.  
  
Gourry and Xellos began to proceed through the level.  
  
***  
  
Back in the "Xellos", Amelia rushes to the table where everyone's eating breakfast. "XELLOS AND GOURRY ARE PLAYING 'RANDOM CREATURES'!" Amelia yelled, and everyone scrambled to get see how Xellos and Gourry were doing in the video game.  
  
***  
  
Gourry and Xellos had just come by a huge dragon. Xellos stood by so he could see if Gourry could handle it. Gourry tried some of the techniques he'd learned with his Sword of Light, but this dragon was particularly bad. It swiped Gourry away with its spiked tail like a fly.  
  
***  
  
"Gourry dear's fighting the toughest dragon in the game! Do you think he can win?" asked Sylphiel worriedly.  
  
"THAT is a secret!" declared Chibi-Xellos.  
  
***  
  
"Do you really think your speed, power, or technique are the cause of your not being able to win? You're fighting with the rules of the game. You're better than this. Go beyond!" Xellos urged.  
  
Gourry whipped out a GameShark, and pressed a few buttons.  
  
Now Gourry moved unbelievably fast. The dragon had no way of keeping up with him. He tried one of the most difficult spells he'd learned. After chanting the incantation, he shouted the spell's name. "Ragna Blade!" The spell's huge black magic power merged with the power of the Sword of Light, and the dragon was turned into dust with no effort at all.  
  
***  
  
"I don't believe it," Zelgadis muttered, as the others nodded their heads in agreement.  
  
***  
  
"Amelia, load the jump program." Xellos commanded.  
  
Instantly, Xellos and Gourry were standing on a building. There was a huge gap between it and the other building. "This is where you let it all go, Gourry. Fear, doubt, disbelief, stupidity. Free… your mind." Xellos jumped off the building. "AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…-"  
  
***  
  
Valgaav looked with on with a smile. "You all know what's gonna happen."  
  
"Yup," nodded the other members of the "Xellos" in unison. "Xellos always does this."  
  
***  
  
"…HHHHHHHHHHHHHH…"  
  
Gourry stared.  
  
"Just kidding," Xellos smiled, and teleported to the other building right before he hit the ground.  
  
***  
  
"Every time there's a new recruit, he always scares them," Zelgadis commented.  
  
"Yeah, I think it's a waste of his time," Lina said.  
  
"Do any of you suppose Gourry will make it?" Chibi-Xellos asked.  
  
"Make what?" asked Martina.  
  
"The jump," replied Chibi-Xellos.  
  
"But no one's ever made the jump," Sylphiel pointed out.  
  
"I know. I know. But what if he does?"  
  
***  
  
Gourry rubbed his hands together. "Okay, okay, I can do this." He jumped off the building. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He was about to hit the ground, when he said, "Just kidding." BOING! Gourry hit the ground, which happened to be rubbery at the moment. He bounced up, then hit the solid ground with a WHAM!  
  
***  
  
"What the? What does that mean?" Chibi-Xellos looked on in concern.  
  
"It doesn't mean anything," Zelgadis declared. "Then again, it might mean Gourry was trying to copy Xellos."  
  
"Nobody ever makes the first jump," Valgaav agreed.  
  
Gourry and Morpheus woke up in their chairs. Gourry felt his lip. He looked at his hand, and saw blood there now. "If you die in the Matrix, you die here?"  
  
"The body can not live without the mind," Xellos informed him sadly.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Well, most of the time, anyway." Xellos grinned mischievously.  
  
***  
  
Lina opens the door to Gourry's room, where Gourry was resting yet again. She brought him his dinner, looks as Gourry for a second, and then leaves.  
  
As she shuts the door, she notices Valgaav watching her.  
  
"I don't remember you ever bringing me dinner," Valgaav grumbled. "There IS something 'special' about him, isn't there?"  
  
"What? You doubt him now?"  
  
"Well, I always wonder. If Xellos is so sure of Gourry being the One, why doesn't he take him to see the Oracle?"  
  
"Xellos will take him when he's ready. Or rather, when he feels like it. You know how Xellos thinks."  
  
Lina walked away, leaving Valgaav leaning against the wall with an unsatisfied expression on his face.  
  
***  
  
Gourry is struggling to keep up with Xellos as they walk through crowded streets filled with normal people and Rezo copies.  
  
"The Matrix is a system, Gourry," Xellos informed him. "Look around you. People turning evil looking for a cure for blindness, businessmen, people looking for new staffs, authors, people looking for a new theme song, lawyers. The very minds of the people the people we're trying to save. But until we free them, they're still part of the system! And they'll fight to protect it." A woman in a red dress walked through the crowd. "Now are you listening to me, or are you looking at the woman in the red dress?"  
  
"Well actually," Gourry replied. "I'm not paying attention to either. I'm busy making sure I don't step on a crack so I don't break my mother's back."  
  
Xellos fell over. Getting up again, he regained his composure and said, "Look at the woman."  
  
Gourry looked, and a Rezo copy was about to hit him with a spell.  
  
"Freeze it!" Xellos instructed.  
  
Everyone in the streets stopped moving except for Xellos and Gourry. "That's not a woman!" Gourry pointed out.  
  
"Well it used to be," Xellos explained. "That's why you looked that direction."  
  
"Oh, now I get it."  
  
"This program was designed to teach you one thing: Pay attention! Oh, and one other thing: If you're not one of us, you're one of them. Always be on the alert. You don't know who could be a Rezo copy."  
  
"Can't you just look for people that look like Rezo?" Gourry asked.  
  
"That is a secret!" Xellos grinned. His cell phone rang, and he picked it up.  
  
"I used to have a cell phone…" Gourry grumbled under his breath.  
  
"We've got trouble!" a voice through the phone sounded.  
  
***  
  
Xellos and Gourry got out of the simulation, and rushed to the front of the hovercraft. "What is it? A ship from Ceipheed?" asked Xellos, eyeing the radar.  
  
"No, it's another ship," Zelgadis informed him. "Dark Lords, they're killing machines."  
  
"Lord Beastmaster was the one dark lord that helped on our side," Xellos remembered sadly. "She never told us why, as everything was 'a secret'. That's right, I even got my favorite saying from her…"  
  
"Xellos, this is no time for fond memories," Zelgadis interrupted. "These Dark Lords only do one thing."  
  
"Search and destroy," Martina put in helpfully.  
  
"Actually, search, find, and destroy. And besides, then Dark Lords actually do 3 things instead of 1." Chibi-Xellos smiled.  
  
Amelia pulled down a switch that brought out a red button out of a hidden drawer in the control panel. "This is the button that disables all electrical systems in this ship," she informed Gourry. "It's the only way we can hide from the Dark Lords."  
  
The hovercraft lands, and Amelia pushes the red button. Everyone holds their breath as the Dark Lords come closer. Not sensing anything, the Dark Lords ignore the "Xellos" and continue on their way.  
  
***  
  
Some time later, Valgaav is at a bunch of computers looking at some type of code displayed on all of them.  
  
Gourry startles Valgaav by suddenly coming in. "Hey, is this the Matrix?" Gourry asked.  
  
"Don't pop in like that! And no, this isn't the Matrix. These are actually just some random symbols I felt like looking at," explained Valgaav, using the master remote to change all the channels to the code of the Matrix. "There's way too many symbols to actually decode the Matrix. Sometimes I just look at it, and try to find some truth to it. I don't even see the individual symbols anymore, I got so used to it. Just streaks of green. Want a drink?"  
  
"Hmmm… okay." Gourry takes some liquor, gulps it down, and spits it out all over the floor. "What is this?!"  
  
"Toilet water. Pretty funny, huh?" Valgaav grinned. "Just kidding. It's the only stuff we have. Good for 3 things. Oiling engines, rotting brain cells, and dirtying our floors. Mop it up." Valgaav threw Gourry a mop.  
  
Gourry begins to mop up the stuff he spit out.  
  
"Did Xellos say why you're here?"  
  
Gourry nods as he cleans.  
  
"What do you say to that? 'Oh, okay, I'll save the world'? Here's some advice: If you see an agent, do as we do. Laugh at them, blow some of them up, and laugh again as you run away because of reinforcements."  
  
"Okay. Thanks for the toilet water, or whatever it was."  
  
"Sweet dreams." Valgaav had other plans to attend to.  
  
***  
  
"So we have a deal?" a Rezo copy says as he and Valgaav eat dinner.  
  
"Yeah, as long as you can get me out of this reality. I want to get back in that Matrix. I don't want to remember anything! Try to get me a good life when you put me back in."  
  
"Anything you wish," the Rezo copy said generously, jingling his staff. "However, I do want something in return."  
  
"Anything."  
  
"The codes to Ceipheed."  
  
"I don't have them…. But I'll get you someone that does."  
  
"Xellos." The agent managed a smile.  
  
***  
  
Gourry sat down at the breakfast table back aboard the "Xellos".  
  
Amelia put some kind of unrecognizable glop on Gourry's plate.  
  
"You know, if you close your eyes, and really imagine hard, this stuff almost tastes like oatmeal," Chibi-Xellos claimed, giving Xellos's familiar smirk once again.  
  
"You've never eaten oatmel, Chibi," Sylphiel pointed out.  
  
"I know, I know. That's what I'm trying to say. What if those machines got it all wrong. THEY don't know what oatmeal tastes like. Maybe what we THINK is oatmeal is actually… roasted duck, or… corn chips. I mean, they could have made chicken taste like marshmallows, and we still don't know the difference. You know, maybe they did. Maybe this glop actually tastes like marshmallows, and we just-"  
  
"Shut up, Chibi," Zelgadis ordered.  
  
"This is a simple protein. Everything the body needs," Lina explained. "Personally, I don't think so! I want more food!"  
  
"Me, too!" put in Gourry.  
  
"Hey, then I want more, too!" Martina complained.  
  
Xellos suddenly walked in. "I'm taking Gourry to see her."  
  
"See who?" asked Gourry.  
  
"The Oracle."


	3. Receiving A Choice

The Matrix- Slayers Style! (Part 3)  
  
by XelFan12  
  
Catchy Matrix music begins to play. "Attention! The "fasten your seatbelts" and "no barfing please" signs have been turned on. We hope you enjoy your ride... in the name... of JUSTICE!" Amelia declares, her eyes growing large with enthusiasm.  
  
The camera begins to rotate around a pink telephone as everyone enters the Matrix. Suddenly, they appear in front in front of the telephone. For good effect, they let it ring a few more times. At the sixth ring, Xellos picks it up. "We're in," he says, and smiles.  
  
While Lina, Gourry, and Xellos are driven to the Oracle by Martina (hope they don't crash!), Valgaav, Chibi-Xellos, and Sylphiel go to the arcade to see who's the champion at pinball.  
  
"Hey! That's where I used to eat," Gourry told Lina, pointing at an all-you-can-eat restaurant.  
  
"The Matrix can't tell you who you are," Lina insisted. "Your past life was all a hoax."  
  
"What about the Oracle?"  
  
"That's different. She'll be able to tell you."  
  
"How?"  
  
"THAT is a secret!" declared Xellos, turning around from the seat in front.  
  
"Shut up, Xellos," muttered Lina.  
  
"Did you go to the Oracle?" Gourry asked Lina.  
  
Xellos was about to say his famous phrase once again, but turned back around as Lina gave him a menacing glare. "Yes," Lina replied.  
  
"What'd she tell you?"  
  
"She told me..."  
  
"What?"  
  
Lina didn't say anything, then looked annoyed. "Hey! Martina, we're supposed to be there by now! That way, Xellos could tell Gourry that we got there, and I wouldn't have to say anything!"  
  
"How would you know that, Lina?!" Martina demanded. "You can't possibly predict-"  
  
"We're here!" Xellos exclaimed cheerfully.  
  
"How did that happen?" Martina asked.  
  
Xellos smiled. "That is a secret! Come on, Gourry."  
  
Gourry followed Xellos out of the car and into the building they had arrived at.  
  
Once inside, they walked through a hallway, and entered an elevator.  
  
"Hey Xellos, what did the Oracle tell you?"  
  
"Well, let's just say that the Oracle and I are not the best of friends. I'd rather not mention it."  
  
"Oh."  
  
They walk through another hallway, and come to a door. Gourry opens it, and is greeted by a woman. Xellos and Gourry both step in.  
  
While Xellos waits in the room they just entered, Gourry continues to the next room. "Just wait here, Gourry," the woman tells him, and she walks away.  
  
Gourry looks around, and sees a girl making cards form into a card castle without touching them, two boys each trying to defeat the other with their minds, and a boy bending spoons.  
  
Gourry walks over to the boy bending spoons because he figures that since spoons have to do with food, it must be the most interesting. The boy made a spoon bend, and then made it become straight again, then hands the spoon to Gourry.  
  
"Do you want me to bend this spoon?" asked Gourry.  
  
The boy nods.  
  
"Well, I dunno. I'm not that good at bending spoons, I think."  
  
"Do not try to bend the spoon."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"That is impossible."  
  
"Sure is."  
  
"Just try to realize the truth."  
  
"Gotcha."  
  
"There is no spoon."  
  
"Now you lost me. There's a spoon right here!" Gourry protested, pointing to the spoon.  
  
"It is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself."  
  
Gourry paused thoughtfully, then protested again. "Now look! I saw with my own eyes that you did NOT bend. The spoon did! Okay?"  
  
"Gourry, the Oracle will see you now," the woman announced as she walked back into the room.  
  
"Okay." The woman pointed out another room to Gourry, then left again. Gourry entered the room, and saw that someone was sitting at a table, drinking tea.  
  
"Is this what you were expecting?" the Oracle asked.  
  
"You're the Oracle?"  
  
"Well, I'd prefer it if you'd call me Filia".  
  
"Okay, Filia."  
  
"Oh, and you'll have to pay for that television."  
  
"What television?" asked Gourry, turning around. He saw a television on the table next to him. "This one?"  
  
"Yup. That idiot mozaku supposedly bought me a present, and instead gave me a television that I still owe money for. If you're really the One, you'll be a nice guy and pay the expenses."  
  
"Oh, well, I'm already in debt," Gourry explained, turning around again, and knocking over a vase.  
  
"That's too bad. Oh well. When you see Xellos again, tell him that if he comes back again, he'll get another taste of an iron mace."  
  
"Um, okay."  
  
"I can see why she likes you. Dumb, yet kinda cute."  
  
"Who? What? When? Where? Why?"  
  
"Never mind. Tell me, Gourry. Do you really think you're the One?"  
  
"Does it matter?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Well, I don't really know. But if bending spoons has anything to do with it, then I'm probably not the One."  
  
"See those words on top of the doorway?" Gourry turns to see some strange symbols written atop the doorway.  
  
"That's written in the language of the Golden Dragons. It means, `I hate Xellos!'"  
  
"Oh. What does that have to do with the One?"  
  
"Nothing. Just to let you know. Let me have a look at you. Hold out your hand."  
  
Gourry held out his hand.  
  
"Hmmm... sorry Gourry, you have the gift, but you can't become the One yet. It looks like you're waiting for something. And you need to wash your hands."  
  
"Well, I'm still waiting for someone to tell me who sent me that stupid knock-knock joke the very first day all of this started."  
  
"That was Lina."  
  
"Lina? She betrayed me by sending a stupid knock-knock joke?!" Gourry's eyes opened wide with astonishment and hurt.  
  
"Is it that bad?" Filia looked over, puzzled.  
  
"Come to think of it, no, not really." Gourry straightened up again. "Why did Xellos think I was the One?"  
  
"Are you sure you want to hear this?"  
  
"Is it scary?"  
  
"No."  
  
"I'm ready then."  
  
"Well, that infernal mozaku bothered me so much telling me that I had to pay for that stupid television that I just picked some random person (you), and that's why. You have the potential to become the One, like I said. But you're still not ready."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"He believes that you are the One so blindly, that he'd sacrifice his own life for yours."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"No. This is only a fanfiction."  
  
"Well, that's true."  
  
"In one hand, you'll hold your own life, and in the other, Xellos's. You'll have to make a choice. Death will steal a life from one of your hands, and you must decide which to keep."  
  
"Why don't I just put both lives in one hand?"  
  
"Well, usually some kind of miracle happens in a story, so you'll probably do just that."  
  
Gourry nods, then waves goodbye to Filia as he walks out the door.  
  
Xellos grins as Gourry comes back to the room he was waiting in. "What Filia, er... the Oracle said to you was for you and you alone."  
  
"All right! Now I get to keep secrets just like you!"  
  
Xellos sweatdropped.  
  
***  
  
Chibi-Xellos is sitting in a chair in some building. He'd gotten angry because Sylphiel and Valgaav were winning at pinball way more than he was. So he'd picked a random building to sulk in. His cell phone rang.  
  
"We're coming. Gourry already saw the Oracle," Xellos informed him through the cell phone.  
  
"Okay," Chibi-Xellos replied. "But I'm still sulking. You'd better come get me before we exit the Matrix."  
  
"Very well then." Xellos hung up.  
  
***  
  
Sylphiel and Valgaav met Martina, Lina, Gourry, and Xellos, and they headed into the building to get the still-sulking Chibi-Xellos to come out.  
  
Gourry noticed a cat throw a mouse across the room. Then, he saw a cat that looked exactly the same as before throw a mouse that looked exactly the same as before across the room again. "Doo-Jee-Va."  
  
"What?" Lina asked.  
  
"Daa-Jaa-Voo?"  
  
"I believe he means déjà vu, Lina," Xellos informed her.  
  
"What?" Lina repeated.  
  
"I saw some cat throw a mouse across the room, and then I saw another cat throw another mouse across the room."  
  
"How much alike were they? Were they the same cat and mouse?"  
  
"Well actually, the first cat and mouse was grey, and the second cat and mouse was black."  
  
"Oh, okay." The group headed up the stairs to find Chibi-Xellos.  
  
***  
  
Chibi-Xellos decided to stop sulking for a second, and check to see if everyone was coming up to make him feel better yet. He went to the doorway, and instead discovered a brick wall. "Oh, no," he muttered in shock.  
  
***  
  
One Rezo copy remarked, "You ARE pretty good at making brick walls. You're a natural!"  
  
"Why thank you," replied the other, jingling his staff. "It's a new spell I learned."  
  
"Wait, that was supposed to be a trap. How are we going to get that Chibi?"  
  
"Darn."  
  
The Rezo copies left, muttering to themselves. "Well, there's always tomorrow."  
  
***  
  
Sylphiel, Valgaav, Lina, Gourry, Xellos, and Martina got to the top of the stairs, and found a brick wall in place of a door where Chibi-Xellos was supposed to be.  
  
"Flare arrow!" Lina shouted, and the brick wall easily gave way. They saw Chibi-Xellos inside.  
  
Suddenly, a Rezo copy teleported back in front of Chibi-Xellos. "Do you take us as fools?" he demanded. With a jingle of his staff, and a spell that shook the whole building, Chibi-Xellos was destroyed.  
  
"I'm glad that I'm a mozaku!" Xellos said. "Chibi-Xellos hadn't perfected his teleporting abilities yet. Hang on to me." The group held on to Xellos as he teleported them away to safety.  
  
Unfortunately, with so many people, they could only get so far. They found themselves hanging on to a ladder inside one of the walls.  
  
"Search for them!" a Rezo copy was heard to say.  
  
The group remained silent, until some dust was accidentally kicked down by Valgaav. Martina sniffed, then covered her nose.  
  
"What was that?" Footsteps and a jingling staff was heard coming closer. Martina coughed.  
  
A Rezo copy pressed his ear against the wall. Martina sneezed.  
  
"They're in the wall!"  
  
Flare arrows were suddenly shot at the wall, producing much chaos and confusion. Xellos was at the bottom of the ladder, trying to hang on, but he slipped, and happened to fall on yet another Rezo copy.  
  
"Get Gourry out!" Xellos orders the others.  
  
The Rezo copy that he'd crashed into got up. "So, this is the famous Xellos?"  
  
Xellos tried to teleport away, but found he couldn't.  
  
"This is an anti-magic chamber, fool," the Rezo copy said softly. He picked up Xellos by the collar with one hand, then punched him across the room with the other.  
  
"What the?!" Xellos sputtered, surprised. "You aren't supposed to be this strong! Lord Beastmaster and I defeated your kind easily when faced with only one!"  
  
"Upgrades," said the Rezo copy simply, smiling and jingling his staff.  
  
***  
  
By now, Sylphiel, Valgaav, Lina, Gourry, and Martina had already climbed onto the roof of the building using the ladder. They all levitated themselves down to the streets below.  
  
As soon as they landed, Sylphiel made a call on her cell phone. "Please Amelia, we need an exit," she said.  
  
The group heads for the exit that Amelia told them, but Valgaav, being part mozaku, teleported ahead.  
  
"What's he up to?" Lina asked.  
  
***  
  
The Rezo copy used his staff to knock Xellos out easily. The new upgrades made him 5 times as strong as he used to be. Their fusing with the machines had come in handy.  
  
Another Rezo copy walked in. The two copies picked up Xellos without a word. As soon as they were out of the anti-magic chamber, they teleported themselves and Xellos to the top floor of a building.  
  
***  
  
"NO!" Amelia cried out back aboard the "Xellos". "I will not let evil defeat us when we can win with the shining power of justice!" Very bright colors flashed behind her.  
  
"Amelia, please stop that," Zelgadis told her.  
  
***  
  
The phone that Valgaav had arrived at was ringing. He picked it up.  
  
He was now on board the "Xellos". Amelia and Zelgadis turned to look at him.  
  
"Oh, hi, Mr. Valgaav," Amelia greeted him cheerfully.  
  
Valgaav doesn't say a word. He picks up a big electrical gun thing from the ground, and shoots at Amelia.  
  
Amelia groans, then falls over.  
  
Valgaav turns and shoots at Zelgadis, too. Zelgadis fell to the floor in a heap, the high-power energy piercing his golem-like skin.  
  
Then, he smiles as he sees Lina, Gourry, Sylphiel, and Martina reach the telephone, which had stopped ringing. Valgaav picks up his cell phone, and calls the telephone there.  
  
***  
  
Lina picks up the ringing phone, and is surprised when the phone doesn't bring her back to the hovercraft. "What the?!"  
  
"I'm in control now," Valgaav says into the phone.  
  
"Valgaav?!" Gourry, Sylphiel, and Martina look over in confusion, and sees a look of confusion on Lina's face as well.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Where's Amelia?"  
  
"Dead."  
  
"WHAT?! YOU KILLED AMELIA?!" Lina's eyes widened considerably, and the other three looked very shocked as well.  
  
"As well as Zelgadis."  
  
"YOU... MONSTER!" Lina screamed.  
  
"That's true... I am part monster," Valgaav grinned. Then he got serious. "Look, I'm tired of this place. I'm tired of fighting, I'm tired of this ship, I'm tired of that slop we have to eat every morning. But most of all, I'm tired of this stupid lie. There is no One! Do you honestly believe that Gourry is the One?! Xellos has been fooling us all along!"  
  
"That's not true! Xellos set us free!" Lina argued  
  
"Xellos lied!" Valgaav raged on. "You think that this is freedom? We only do what that stupid mozaku orders us to do! The Matrix is far more freedom than this!"  
  
"The Matrix isn't real!"  
  
"I say it's more real than this world!" Valgaav raged on. "I'll just pull the plugs, Lina. Watch."  
  
Martina suddenly got a blank look in her eyes, then fell over, dead. Gourry and Sylphiel stood still, unable to speak.  
  
Lina stiffened. "Stop this right now, Valgaav! It doesn't have to be this way!"  
  
"Oh, I think it does. And if you ever want to speak to Sylphiel again, then speak fast."  
  
Lina looked at Sylphiel, who knew what was going to happen. "Gourry dear, please... Try to free us. I just know that you're the One." Sylphiel got the same stare, and fell to the ground as well.  
  
Lina looked like she was about to explode. "VALGAAV! STOP THIS NOW!"  
  
"Don't hate me, Lina. I just don't believe in all of this anymore. In fact, it seemed like junk from the beginning. Gourry appears. He's some kind of miracle! He'll free us all. He'll defeat the agents. I don't think so. And besides, how can he be the one when he's DEAD?! Tell me, Lina. Do you really believe that Gourry is the One? Do you? Yes or no?"  
  
Lina gritted her teeth, saying nothing.  
  
"I thought so. This is all just-" Valgaav suddenly heard the sound of an electric gun powering up, and turns around in alarm. "What the? Impossible!"  
  
"Nothing is impossible!" Amelia declares, straightening up from the ground. "IN THE NAME OF JUSTICE!" A large energy ball blasts from the gun, and kills Valgaav.  
  
Lina had heard something about justice in the background, so she knew that Amelia must have saved them. She managed a thin smile, and told Gourry the news. She hung up the phone.  
  
The phone rung again, and she and Gourry were transported back into the real world. Gourry regained control of himself now after seeing Martina and Sylphiel die. "Are you alright?" he asked Amelia.  
  
"I'll be okay. A healing spell will fix me up later," Amelia reassured him.  
  
They began to discuss what to do next.  
  
***  
  
Xellos woke up tied to a chair by chains that rendered his magical powers useless, and deprived him of much of his physical strength as well. He stared at the Rezo copy in front of him, not speaking.  
  
The Rezo copy jingled his staff. "We've finally captured you. And now the future of this `real world' will be in our hands."  
  
Another Rezo copy walked in. "We must make no more mistakes. Should I deploy them?"  
  
"Yes," replied the first. "Send out the Dark Lords immediately. We'll have the honor of destroying that wretched hovercraft."  
  
As the second copy left, the first moved closer to Xellos, and pulled out a needle.  
  
"Yare, yare. This is all very dramatic, but I will never tell you the information you need," Xellos declared.  
  
"We shall see," the copy replied, and injected a substance into Xellos's arm.  
  
Xellos began to feel very weak, and a great pain ran through him. "This torture will not make me talk. Ceipheed's codes will remain... a secret!"  
  
***  
  
"You think that Xellos will tell? That they'll finally get to him? Ceipheed is more important than all of us put together, including him! If the codes are let loose, then all is lost!" Amelia told Lina.  
  
"Are you kidding? That mozaku would rather die than give up his saying. `That is a secret!' is going to be the reply to every one of those stupid copies' questions."  
  
"But still! Will justice stand true? Perhaps... you don't think we'll have to kill Mister Xellos?" Amelia asked.  
  
"No, wait!" Gourry interrupted. "I remember! The Oracle told me something about his life is in one hand, and mine is in the other. I've got to put both in one hand!"  
  
"What?" Amelia and Lina replied together.  
  
"I'm going after Xellos!" Gourry said bravely.  
  
"That's impossible!" Lina protested. "There are too many Rezo copies there!"  
  
"Yeah, don't be stupid, Mister Gourry," Amelia said. "Well, don't be most of the time, anyway."  
  
"But Xellos thinks that I'm the One. And I'm not! I'm still waiting for something! That's what the Oracle said. But she didn't say what I was waiting for. Christmas... my birthday... hmmmm....."  
  
Lina and Amelia sweatdropped.  
  
"Anyway, I've got to go." Gourry went toward one of the chairs to be plugged into the Matrix.  
  
"Then I'm coming with you!" declared Lina.  
  
"Hmmm.... Okay."  
  
"Amelia, load us up!"  
  
***  
  
Xellos felt even weaker all of a sudden, and was unable to speak.  
  
"Someone tried to classify you in the past," the Rezo copy said. "And they said that humans are mammals. But you're not. You're more like viruses. You know, since you just use up resources in one place, and move on. And you're the plague. And I'm the cure. But that's not the point! Because somehow... you are 100% mozaku, and in that way, have completely messed up my dramatic speech. Never mind."  
  
Xellos was too weak to talk, but not quite weak enough not to smile.


	4. He Is The One

The Matrix- Slayers Style! (Part 4)  
  
By XelFan12  
  
"What do you need besides for the forces of justice?" Amelia asked Lina and Gourry.  
  
"We'll need some metal pieces. Lots of metal pieces."  
  
Metal pieces of many different random kinds flashed through the construct on many shelves.  
  
Gourry looked puzzled. "Lina, why do we need metal pieces?"  
  
"So the metal detector will beep when we go through it, the guy there will ask us if we've got any loose change, etc., and then we'll fireball them."  
  
"Why? And how do you know that?"  
  
"Because the Oracle said to, and because of the Oracle."  
  
"Oh."  
  
***  
  
Back in the highest floor of the building, a Rezo copy was talking to the now-silent Xellos.  
  
"Let me tell you a secret," the Rezo copy whispered.  
  
Xellos made the slightest movement when he heard the word "secret".  
  
"I am not fond of this place. I am not fond of this way of life. I am not fond of the creatures that live here. I dislike this place, Xellos. What I'd give to be able to plug myself back into the Matrix and become an anime character! That's why I need the codes for Ceipheed. Once I destroy that stronghold, there is no need for me to be here! Now tell me, or I'll have to kill you." The copy punctuated his sentence with a dramatic ring from his staff.  
  
***  
  
Lina and Gourry walk through that metal detector door thing, and the device starts to beep rapidly.  
  
"Do you have any loose change, etc.?" the guy managing the stuff asked.  
  
Lina took the metal pieces out of her pocket, and threw them on the ground. Gourry did the same.  
  
"Uh... okay."  
  
"Fireball!" Lina yelled, and blew the poor guy out of the room.  
  
"Lina, why'd you do that?" Gourry asked.  
  
"Read the script, Gourry. How should I know?"  
  
"We need backup!" another guy said before he was Ice Arrowed.  
  
Lina and Gourry took care of the rest of the guys there with some random spells, and then the reinforcements arrived. "FREEZE!" one of the new guys ordered.  
  
Everyone stopped moving, and stayed where they were. The guy looked around in astonishment. He didn't really know what to do now that they actually did what he had wanted. He just didn't feel right shooting someone that was just standing there. "Uh... go?"  
  
"FIREBALL!" Lina and Gourry yelled in unison, and the guy was blasted away like all the others.  
  
The other guys pulled out their guns, but they couldn't come close to hitting Lina or Gourry.  
  
While Lina and Gourry were doing fancy tricks like jogging up walls, running on the ceilings, and doing impossible flips, they were making progress too. Gourry suddenly whipped out his Sword of Light. With all the new techniques he'd learned, he was an unstoppable force.  
  
Lina was busy using all sorts of spells to stop the guys pursuing them, ranging from a blinding light spell just to distract them, to a condensed Dragonslave attack. That was one of the most useful things she'd learned. While before, the Dragonslave couldn't be used in small areas, now it could be cast in the same size as the fireball, and its effects took place mostly in the target rather than outside it.  
  
Gourry with his sword and spells, and Lina with her spells and violence, took care of the reinforcements easily.  
  
Gourry started walking to the elevator, but Lina said, "Why bother?" She shot a fireball at the ceiling, and she and Gourry started levitating up all the way to the roof.  
  
***  
  
Some other Rezo copies came into the room that Xellos was in. The electricity had gone out. "What's going on?" they asked.  
  
"I think they're trying to save him," the first Rezo copy replied, gesturing to Xellos. Xellos remained silent, too exhausted from the stuff that had been injected into his body. "The electricity went out from some wires being destroyed back on the first floor. Probably a fireball."  
  
The other Rezo copies, and left the room, some headed for the roof.  
  
***  
  
The Rezo copies met Lina and Gourry on the roof.  
  
While Lina was busy using several condensed Dragonslaves on one, Gourry faced the other.  
  
"Die," the Rezo copy muttered, jingling his staff. He hurled an endless array of fireballs toward Gourry.  
  
Using his new techniques, Gourry whipped out his Sword of Light, and blocked all of the fireballs except for one. That one singed him just a bit. It was amazing, him and the sword moving so fast, it was like they weren't moving at all.  
  
Lina had finally destroyed the Rezo copy she had faced with the Ragna Blade, and wasn't about to waste the rest of the spell. "Let's see you jingle that staff now!" she yelled, and destroyed the surprised copy with one swipe.  
  
"Gourry, how did you do that?"  
  
"Hmmmm... hmmm.... Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........ I don't remember," Gourry replied.  
  
Lina fell over. Getting up, she muttered, "Never mind."  
  
Lina and Gourry levitate a little downward now, stopping at the highest floor, which Xellos is held in.  
  
The Rezo copies in there are caught by surprise by Lina and Gourry, who break in and destroy them with combined Ragna Blade attacks, as well as a now more powerful Sword of Light.  
  
Gourry destroyed the chains that had deprived Xellos of so much of his power, while Lina cast a quick healing spell on him to get rid of the effects of the substance that a Rezo copy had injected into him.  
  
Xellos stood up. "Well, that feels much better." He smiled. "Amelia, we need an exit."  
  
***  
  
Elsewhere, more Rezo copies looked out of another building. "The Dark Lords should destroy that wretched ship soon," said one.  
  
"Yes," replied another, and jingled his staff.  
  
***  
  
The Dark Lords were making progress. They were still journeying through the tunnels, but would be arriving at the "Xellos" very soon.  
  
***  
  
Xellos, Gourry, and Lina arrived at the subway station that Amelia had told them to go to. Xellos had teleported them there. The phone in the phone booth was ringing, waiting to transport them back to the ship.  
  
Xellos goes in the phone booth. "I'll be seeing you all!" he says cheerfully, and disappears as he picks up the phone.  
  
Lina walked over to the phone booth. She put the hanging phone back on, and it immediately began to ring again. "Gourry, I have to tell you something. And it's really hard for me to say. I'm afraid of... what it could mean. I could handle everything... but this."  
  
"What is it, Lina?" asked Gourry, confused.  
  
Suddenly, a Rezo copy teleported into the subway station.  
  
"Lina, look out!" Gourry yelled.  
  
Lina saw the Rezo copy, and barely picked up the phone and disappeared before the phone booth was destroyed completely by the copy.  
  
"It's time to give up, Gourry," the Rezo copy said softly as a dozen more copies appeared behind him.  
  
***  
  
Lina appeared back aboard the "Xellos", and looked at one of the screens, seeing thirteen Rezo copies all against Gourry. "Run, you idiot!" she muttered.  
  
Xellos grinned in amusement.  
  
***  
  
Gourry stood his ground, and drew his sword. "Come and get me!"  
  
"You're a fool to stand against us," another copy declared, as all thirteen copies jingled their staffs in unison.  
  
"Hey, that sounds pretty cool," Gourry comented.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
***  
  
"What are they doing?" Lina asked puzzled.  
  
"I really don't know, Miss Lina," replied Amelia.  
  
Xellos grinned again. "I think the Rezo copies are getting a little too caught up in themselves. And besides that, Gourry's starting to believe.  
  
***  
  
The Rezo copies began to get serious. They all fired a barrage of fireballs at Gourry at the same time.  
  
Using his new skills, Gourry spun his sword impossibly fast, blocking all attacks. Chanting the incantation, he then summoned up a Ragna Blade, merging it with his Sword of Light to give it more power.  
  
"You think that you can defeat all of us with a single spell?" inquired yet another copy.  
  
"We'll see." Gourry leapt forward, and managed to destroy 3 copies with his ultra-powerful weapon before the spell wore out.  
  
"You're a fool to think you can stop us," a copy muttered as 3 more copies appeared.  
  
"Darn. Guess I'll have to try something different." Gourry got a look in his eye. "I don't think Lina's ever tried this before." Repeatedly dodging spells from the pursuing Rezo copies, he muttered the incantation for another Ragna Blade, and fused it with his sword. The Sword of Light absorbed the darkness and became ultra-powerful once again.  
  
"Trying the same spell again?"  
  
"Not exactly." Gourry saw now that he was far stronger than he used to be. Muttering another incantation, he fused another Ragna Blade into the sword.  
  
"Impossible!"  
  
"We'll see how impossible it is!" Fusing in a third Ragna Blade, the Sword of Light began to pulse with darkness so deep, the color black seemed holy compared to it. For extra measure, Gourry fused in a Dragonslave before he was finally hit by one of the fireballs thrown at him.  
  
"Your sword won't be of any use once we kill you."  
  
Gourry scrambled to his feet, picking up his sword and using a quick spell to heal himself. He then swung his sword forward, and the darkness somehow shined with the colossal force.  
  
The explosion that followed destroyed the entire subway station easily, incinerating all 13 Rezo copies in an instant. Gourry collapsed in a heap on the ground.  
  
***  
  
"That was.. not possible," Lina whispered.  
  
Even Xellos looked surprised.  
  
***  
  
Gourry managed to get up from the ground and cast a recovery spell on himself. He began to run along the streets.  
  
Stealing a cell phone, Gourry dialed the hovercraft, and asked Lina for an exit.  
  
"The exit's a phone booth on the corner of Slayers Avenue. Hurry!"  
  
Gourry ran as fast as he could for it, as 3 dozen more copies appeared behind him.  
  
***  
  
"The Dark Lords are going to be here any second!" Amelia announced worriedly.  
  
"It's okay, he'll get here in time," replied Lina.  
  
"We'll just have to wait," Xellos said.  
  
***  
  
Fireballs blasting all around him, Gourry ran for the exit. People stared as 36 people that looked exactly alike chased after him.  
  
"Hmmm.... I don't know how I did that, but I don't think I can do it again easily," Gourry said to himself, referring to how he just destroyed the 13 copies.  
  
The copies that were chasing Gourry had finally caught up to him, and one fired a fireball that hit Gourry's arm.  
  
Gourry felt a pain in his arm, and paused to start another healing spell.  
  
"Too late," a Rezo copy said, and all the copies began to blast fireballs at Gourry, an endless stream of pain.  
  
Even Gourry couldn't stand this, and he collapsed to the ground, beaten and bleeding badly. "Lina..." An explosion equal to that of a Dragonslave hit him now, and he closed his eyes, dead.  
  
***  
  
The Dark Lords had caught up to the "Xellos", and tremendous explosions began to destroy most of the ship. Xellos and Amelia hurried off to try and stop them, but Lina stayed behind. She was the only one that saw when Gourry was killed.  
  
"NO! You can't die, Gourry! You can't!" Lina screamed as explosions raged around her.  
  
Gourry remained motionless on the screen, with the Rezo copies standing over him, observing him.  
  
"You can't die, Gourry... The Oracle... she told me... that I would fall in love with the One. And I did. You're the One! You must be! So you see... you can't be dead. Because... I love you, Gourry. I really do." Lina leaned over, and kissed Gourry, who was still in his chair, although it was his mental self that had been destroyed in the Matrix.  
  
Gourry still remained motionless.  
  
10 very long seconds passed.  
  
"GOURRY, IF YOU DON'T GET UP RIGHT NOW, I'LL DRAGONSLAVE YOU SO MANY TIMES YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DEAD AND ALIVE!" Lina yelled at the top of her lungs.  
  
Suddenly, Gourry got up.  
  
***  
  
He felt different, somehow, far more powerful.  
  
The Rezo copies took a step back. "Still alive?" one asked. "Very impressive. But try this."  
  
All 3 dozen copies fired repeated Dragonslave power blasts at Gourry, who stood still, very calm.  
  
Gourry held up a hand, and all the many blasts stood still in the air. He then held up his Sword of Light, and the copies watched in horror and fascination as all their blasts were absorbed. The sword now throbbed violently with the unbelievable energy it had now.  
  
"Now let's add something else in for good measure," Gourry muttered. "Darkness beyond blackest pitch... Deeper than the deepest night... King of darkness, who shines like gold upon the sea of chaos... I pledge myself to thee, swear myself to thee... Let the fools who stand before me be destroyed by the power you and I possess. GIGA SLAVE!" The Sword of Light absorbed this as well, becoming not a weapon any longer, but rather darkness itself.  
  
"Let's see you dodge this," Gourry challenged, and whipped the sword around so fast, none of the copies knew what hit them. In the next instant, the many copies fell over, all dead. The faint jingling of staffs swept through the air like a forgotten song.  
  
Gourry sheathed his blade, and simply teleported himself to the exit at Slayers Avenue. With his new power, there was no need to walk anymore. He was the One.  
  
He picked up the ringing phone, and found himself back aboard the "Xellos".  
  
***  
  
Amelia hurriedly pressed the red button that shut down all electricity once Gourry returned, and the Dark Lords propelled themselves back to the tunnels, no longer wishing to stay.  
  
They were safe now.  
  
***  
  
Gourry walked through the crowd, now realizing his true power. "There's no one now I can't face. No one I can't defeat," he whispered. "I have the power. I will free... us all."  
  
Gourry suddenly muttered a spell, and floated up off the ground into the sky at great speed... and crashed into a billboard.  
  
"GOURRY! NOT AGAIN! THAT'S THE SIXTH ONE THIS WEEK!"  
  
***  
  
*roll credits*


End file.
